If I had just given up, this wouldn’t have happened.
I mean, she’d still be dead — I realize now that there was no stopping that — but at least she would’ve had a chance to be relatively happy for whatever time was left. We were like sisters once. It was selfish of me to screw that up.
It was April the tenth. I was headed down to Soho for an interview that day, and I stopped by the bar on the way (just for old times’ sake). I hadn’t been there since I worked my last shift in October. Mia was the one who trained me when I first started there, and we clicked immediately. I wasn’t expecting her to be there now, but I couldn’t help taking the trip down memory lane anyway. She and I had such great chemistry that our shifts were usually paired together. We could always keep ’em drinking. I had to work a little harder at it than she did, though. Mia was a natural. She didn’t sing, didn’t have giant boobs (not that I did either), and barely even danced, but the boys couldn’t stop buying drinks from her anyway. She dominated them with sheer force of personality. In that environment, she was a raven-haired goddess, and they willingly sacrificed themselves on her altar. It was truly stunning to watch.
As I said, it had been half a year or so since I’d been back, and I wasn’t expecting to see her. She never worked daytime shifts. But, there she was. For a second, I thought about trying to sneak back out, but I had been spotted. Whether I was ready or not, Mia and I were finally going to have the conversation that I’d been avoiding for months. But instead of talking about the past, Mia interrupted me, and told me that she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
I was floored. I felt inside out. I don’t even remember what we talked about after that, except that I found myself making an admission of my own. She got up immediately and left. I’ll never forget the sound of screeching tires, or the sweaty smell of the taxi driver as he explained repeatedly that it wasn’t his fault. I’ll never forget the two long black hairs stuck to the cracked windshield, or the sickening wish that I had just given up.
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